This first part of the post has been exaggerated and dramatized for your entertainment. Contains
too many video game references.
It’s been pretty loco for me ever since the start of March, 2019.
As quite a few of you know, I’ve been home schooled my entire life. And due to a lot of crap happening to my family in rapid succession, I was behind in my studies… If school was a race, I would’ve been 3 laps behind everyone, crawling in the dirt with skinned and bleeding knees. I wish I could tell you how far behind I was in my work- but I honestly have no clue since I was juggling multiple different grades in different subjects. And some of the subjects introduced work that I wouldn’t be seeing until COLLEGE.
I’m not bitter. At all.
One of my friends told me about a program in my area that would help me get my GED for free. I jumped at the chance to leave my Purgatory school books behind, and I enrolled in math classes in March.
That explains the huge gap this post now, and my last post.
I worked in a feverish sweat all throughout these past 3 months trying to leave high school behind, focusing so hard that pretty much all of my internet friends forgot that I actually existed. I was determined to conquer this level 100 dungeon master that’s loomed over my life since I started school.
(Also, it helped that I had a carrot-at-the-end-of-the-stick. My friend offered me to take a trip with her to Kentucky to volunteer at the Creation Museum, but my parents put their foot down and said I couldn’t go unless I completed my GED)
Me and my friend had to leave June 2nd. It was a week before we had to leave, and I still had my US Constitution test, my science test, and the the math test to finish.
Boss music started playing.
BAM! I knocked out my US Constitution test on Tuesday. I wouldn’t know the results until after I got back from my trip, so me and my parents compromised on this. (Spoiler alert: I passed)
I could only take my GED tests on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. My case worker that’s a part of the program that helps pay for my GED had to schedule the tests for me, otherwise I’d have to pay out of my own pocket. I had some paperwork issues because someone input my birthday wrong on the GED site, and I wasn’t able to take any of those tests until the paperwork was edited.
The paperwork was fixed early Wednesday. That left one day to take both Science and Math tests. The tests are long, and it isn’t recommended to take multiple tests at once.
I frantically texted my wisdom counsel to see if I should take both tests on the same day, one right after the other. The overwhelming response was along the lines of “GO FOR IT, BABE!” So I contacted my case worker, scheduled an hour break between tests, and that was that. It was set in stone.
Boss music starts getting faster and noticeably louder.
My first test was early in the morning, which happened to be science.
Fumbling, I grabbed the door handle, walked into the testing Center, and sat down at the computer to take my test.
I was done quicker than my allotted time for the test. I disappeared quickly for lunch break to revive my stamina stats. In the middle of my break, my science scores were revealed.
POW! I passed Science!
Boss music crescendos into a deafening cacophony.
I walked back into the testing Center to take my last test; Math. I sat down in the seat, took a shaky breath, and dove into the test. I skimmed through the test quickly to identify the questions that I knew right off the bat, and came back later to the questions that I didn’t know where to start or would know they’d take time.
The hours felt like an eternity. I kept going until I answered every question, whether it be wrong or right.
Closing my eyes, I mumbled a prayer under my breath, and submitted my math test. It was finished.
I got up from my seat and walked down to the lobby to wait for my ride to work.
I was excited to see my results at first and kept refreshing the page to see if they updated (with no luck). But as more time passed, I became exceedingly anxious about what the results would tell me; If I passed or not.
I made it to work at my employer’s house (I’m a part time worker at a non-profit organization for youth) and walked in the door. She greeted me with a hug. Her eyes sparkling, she asked me if I passed my GED.
I asked her to wait a second while I jumped onto the wifi to check my score.
WHAM! I passed math!
This entire journey was insane-
and I couldn’t have done it without God.
I was pretty much sweating bullets for the full experience. I had actually taken the math practice test a week ago before I went to take my actual GED test, and I got a “Too close to call” scoring. Just under a week later, I got a passing score on the practice test.
There’s no way that I can say that God wasn’t with me while I was taking those math tests. The Holy Spirit helped me focus on what was in front of me rather than worrying about what would happen if I didn’t pass.
A lot has been revealed about God’s character and my personality during the process of getting my GED- It’s been a proving ground in my life that I can trust God to pull things off when I thought there was no way, that I am smarter and more intelligent than I’ve believed for most of my life, and if I put hard work and focus on something, I CAN accomplish incredible things (knowing I can’t always rely on my own strength).
And it’s come to my attention that I’ve given these dumb lies–
- “You’re not smart.”
- “You’re a failure.”
- “You don’t have what it takes.”
- “Why don’t you give up now?”
-power over me by making them as a part of my identity. I used to think they were true or they made me humble, but they aren’t and they don’t. They’ve robbed me of growing into my fullest potential for years.
I’m ripping these labels off. I no longer claim these lies as a part of my identity, but I’m claiming these over myself:
- You’re an overcomer.
- You’re more than a victor in Christ Jesus.
- You can do all things in Christ who gives you strength.
- With His mighty power in us, we are able to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Hallelujah! This chapter of my life is closing out, and opening to a new one.
Some of you still might remember my College and the Fear of Failing post from… a few years ago, I think. In short, I stated that I didn’t really have an interest in pursuing higher education. ESPECIALLY if it’s going to leave me with a heaping mountain of debt.
Well- an opportunity arose to go to college, and I think I’m going to grab it with two hands.
The program that paid for my GED so it would be free to me has another branch that will completely cover the cost of specific Associate degree majors. I wouldn’t have to pay a dime- all I’d have to do is put in the work to get my Associate degree. And I think I’m going to take them up on their offer.
I’m… going to college?
I’m… going to college.
I’M GOING TO COLLEGE.
This feels unreal to type out. Never ever had I thought that I would be going to college…
Weird. But a good weird. Horray!
I might end up going as a part-time student, and start looking for another job so that I can work on getting a license and pay for car insurance. The job I have currently is great for pocket cash so I can occasionally go out and do stuff with friends, but I can’t really do anything else with that income.
…And the blog?
I’m going to have a few weeks before I end up getting a job this summer, so I might pump out a couple of posts before I disappear for an unspecified amount of time.
I’d never delete this blog completely- but I’m kinda lost on how to grow and develop this site from here. I have to run over my thoughts with a fine-toothed comb just to find post ideas, and it’s more exhausting than it is a fun hobby.
The time has come to go on hiatus pretty soon. I think if I give myself time to grow and experience things, I’ll have more to share from an interesting and mature point of view.
Post you guys later!
Thanks for sticking around to the end of the post! I appreciate it!