Saluations, my dearies-
Welcome to the self doubt and regret that is this blog post today.
So for those of you who remember, I tried creating a graphic novel for Inktober and NaNoWriMo combined. The graphic novel didn’t pan out that month- but I DID, however, win NaNoWriMo with the help and planning of a close friend who we tried to attempt with to co-write November.
The more I think about my graphic novel plot, the more frustrated I get.
Part of the reason why you don’t see more short stories from me- or even an ongoing story on my blog- is because I have issues with publishing my ideas.
Namely, whenever I start to set my mind on doing something and following it through- if I don’t thoroughly plan my creative works before hand, it ends up falling flat on its face. Meanwhile as I tried to cover up the fact that I even attempted it in the first place by grinning weirdly at you and half-heartedly throwing dirt over it to try to make you forget that there’s a half done project sitting alone in a dark and dirty corner in the recesses in my mind.
This happens to be one of the traits of the ENFP that I wish I didn’t have (for all of you out there who love the MBTI test).
And it almost happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I announce something publicly.
During the years of my youth, when I was a regular on Wattpad, I would throw a 100 million ideas out there- just trying to see what would be forgotten, and what would stick. Once I found something that my audience loved, though, I couldn’t keep up with it. Once I announced that an update was coming, my inspiration purchased train tickets and left my brain station. And now it’s coming back to haunt me.
I REALLY want to make this graphic novel happen. As I was working on it October, I started falling in love with creating the panels and Miguel (my cute little character you might remember from the preview).
I WANT this to become a thing- it’s just that whenever I start trying to think of ways to make this comic come to life and become something near and dear to my heart, I get so disinterested and uninspired to where I want to scream or throw my computer at the nearest wall.
As I look at my destruction with satisfaction, the tiny shards scattered on the floor
So please forgive me if you were interested in reading or looking more at the graphic novel. I realized that this is something that’s best not to be rushed or thrown out to the public willy-nilly.
Especially if I want to take the time to make my story actually good.
If I’m going to sink a lot of time and effort into this thing, then I’m determined to not waste it on an idea that I’m not willing to put my heart and soul into. This way, you’ll be able to depend on a good quality and well-thought-out storyline next time you see an update that includes pictures of my actual novel!
This doesn’t mean that I’m pulling down that old post or completely regretting my decision to attempt a graphic novel.
In fact, I’m pretty happy that I made the leap to try it out. Now I KNOW for a fact that I enjoy making panels and practicing my hand at drawing my characters from new and exciting angles. I’m more regretting the fact that I tried to nail down the plot of my novel even when I knew that it was in flux and it was more than probable that I was going to make significant changes to it along the way.
And on a completely unrelated note- Happy New Year! Somewhat disappointed that I didn’t start out the year with a bang or a more cheery post- but oh well. More posts with humor is on it’s way. ❤
Does this happen to anyone else? When you try to post a creative work publicly, do you have a hard time trying to keep up with your commitment?
Thanks for reading to the end of this post!